Valentine’s Day nightmare: 10 cringeworthy dating app bio trends

Online dating is hard; your soulmate might be just a few swipes away. But don’t fall into these dating bio traps on Valentine’s Day.

valentines day nightmare 10 cringeworthy dating app bio trends - Valentine’s Day nightmare: 10 cringeworthy dating app bio trends

Online dating is hard, apparently. The scary apart is that your soulmate might be out there, just a few swipes away. However, to find your soulmate, you need to sift through some questionable bios and profiles.

Writing a bio is hard, too. It has to be informative yet witty, original and something that grabs the attention. Unfortunately, writing a good bio is a skill not bestowed upon everyone with an online dating account.

Mashable’s Nicole Gallucci rounded up 32 red flags to be on the lookout for, and we’ve selected our top 10 questionable bios. From cheesy jokes and misogyny to the outrageous and absurd. You’ve been warned.

Online dating bios to avoid on Valentine’s Day

Good vibes only

While not the worst motto to live by, including this in an online dating bio could be problematic. As one user pointed out online, this is usually just code for “I just want sex, leave your feelings at the door”.

This person would probably pretend to be sunshine and daisies all day and won’t be capable of dealing with any real emotions you may have. The red flag here is that this person is not ready for a mature relationship.

But don’t be outright negative either. There’s absolutely no reason to start listing all the things you don’t want in your next relationship. No one is going to want to match with someone overly bitter.

People who don’t want any drama

As Gallucci points out, “people who feel the need to type some version of ‘I’m not looking for any drama’ in their dating app bios are likely no stranger to drama”. It might even lead to gaslighting.

The School of Hard Knocks

You’ve seen these phrases in Facebook bios too, proudly proclaiming that they’ve graduated from the “School of Life” or the “School of Hard Knocks?” No, my dude or dudette. Just no to the power of 100.

These and similar phrases really aren’t as edgy or funny as you may think. Rather include your actual educational achievements or just leave it out altogether. And while I have your attention, avoid these words, too:

“Chill”, “casual”, “no strings attached”, “masculine” (and don’t refer to women as females), “discreet” (we all know what this refers to), “massage”, and “I’m not like other men/women/insert random indicator here”.

Basing your entire personality around a food type

While not the most cringeworthy thing to do, it surely is unoriginal to the max and deserves a spot on this list. Everyone love’s pizza, my guy.

Introducing yourself as “Jared, and I love pizza” is really not how you are going to get any swipes. This is your chance to be original. So be original! Don’t be this guy:

dating app online bios valentines - Valentine’s Day nightmare: 10 cringeworthy dating app bio trends
Screenshot from Tinder

Keep exes off dating app bios

Friends and family? Sure, include them in your bio. Exes and other love interests? Maybe skip that one, unless the app you’re on is specifically catering for polyamorous relationships.

Nobody planning to hook up with you wants to see your ex on you online dating bio.

Too many shirtless pics

Massive red flag, this. We guess one shirtless pic is still okay, but an entire collection is a no-no.

“If your profile looks like a collection of press images from Magic Mike, it’s a left swipe. However, if you were in Magic Mike, right swipe”.

Nicole Gallucci

 Myers–Briggs in dating app bio

This really isn’t the place for your Myers–Briggs Type Indicator. Despite MB being “totally meaningless”, no one really cares if you’re INFP personality type, or an ISFP or and ESFP or an ENTJ. No one.

If you had the marketing machine that surrounds the Myers-Briggs debacle, then sure, go ahead. But you don’t. So leave it off your bio.

Too hungry for adventure

The workout buff

Don’t get us wrong; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with working out. But your online dating bio is not the place to brag about it. It will come across as if your entire identity is tied up in your workout schedule.

At least make it look like you have a personality outside of the gym.

Being pretentious

Some of the stuff mentioned on Twitter which may make you come across as pretentious includes telling the world you’re sapiosexual, that your favourite book is Atlas Shrugged, or that you self-identify as a “bitcoin enthusiast”.

While this trip into dating app bios was fun, Gallucci added this caveat:

What may be a red flag for some won’t be a red flag for others. If you love romantic trips to the gym and are majorly obsessed with pizza, don’t feel pressured to omit those things from your bio.

Now read: Four easy ways to plan your Valentine’s Day adventures

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