One day closer to the premiere of Game of Thrones season eight. We are counting down one recap at a time. Catch up with season one here.
In season two, we are introduced to more major players and power houses. Before you proceed, remember: the night is dark and full of spoilers.
So many spoilers. This is series is intended for those who have seen Game of Thrones and just want to cram all the information in before the new season hits us in the feels.
Season one ended on a tragic note with the noble and honourable Ned Stark getting his head chopped off.
Let’s also not forget Daenerys Stormborn The Unburnt, now also Khaleesi and the Mother of Dragons. She does like to collect those titles.
Before we run through the major events, a quick recap of the new kids on the block. There’s a nifty little TL;DR video at the bottom.
The Tyrells, more Baratheons and the Red Priestess
In season two, we’re introduced to the late King Robert’s brothers, Stannis and Renly. They can’t stand each other and both have their eye on that throne.
Watch: Lady Catelyn meet Renly
Well, everybody has their eye on the throne and the War of the Five Kings breaks out shortly after Robert’s death. The Five Kings Joffrey Baratheon, Stannis and Renly Baratheon, Robb Stark, and Balon Greyjoy.
Around this time we also meet the Tyrells, a powerful house. Margaery Tyrell is Renly’s queen, but she has high hopes of being ‘The Queen.’ (Hello Cersei Lannister.)
We are introduced to Lady Melisandre, a Red Priestess who serves R’hllor the Lord of the Light. And then there’s Lady Brienne of Tarth, but don’t call her that to her face.
Watch: Brienne’s best moments
The Greyjoys of Pyke are a proud people. They rely on the ocean on their motto is “We do not sow,” and “What is dead may never die.”
They worship the Drowned God and to prove your worth as a Greyjoy, they’ll drown you first. Only if you come back from that, you’ll be deemed worthy.
Watch: Theon Greyjoy’s baptism
We met Theon Greyjoy in season one. He is the only living son of Balon Greyjoy and was given to Ned Stark as ward after Balon’s failed rebellion against the throne.
After Ned’s death, Theon returns to the Iron islands and we also meet his sister Yara (Asha in the books). Theon basically loses his senses during season two. More on that later.
Watch: Yara Greyjoy
Across the Narrow sea (Essos)
Most of Daenerys’ khalasar left when Khal Drogo died and only a handful remained loyal to her. It helped that they saw her survive the fire and witnessed the birth the dragons.
Daenerys in Qarth
But wandering the Red Waste is never easy and Daenerys makes it to the City of Qarth, dehydrated and starving. Long story short, Qarth just looks too good to be true.
Watch: Daenerys arrives at Qarth
The warlocks slay her people, kidnap her dragons and intend to keep her locked up in their temple until time indefinite because their powers returned when her dragons were born.
But she’s not called the Mother of Dragons for nothing and have been training her three dragonlets to breathe fire on command. All she has to do is say ‘dracarys’ and the tiny little monsters turn the warlock guy into a roast.
Watch: Tiny dragons and their flames
When she finds out that one of the Dothraki had been conspiring with a one of the Qarth leaders, she seals them without food or water in the vault and sacks the city. Basically, don’t mess with Daenerys.
Arya is still trying to get as far away from King’s Landing as she can, since witnessing Ned’s beheading. She now dresses as a boy and goes by the name Arrie.
Arya is something else, hey. She recites every night the names of the people she is going to kill, including Prince Joffrey and Queen Cersei.
Watch: Arya’s list from season three
She ends up at Harrenhal where she serves as a cup bearer for Cersei’s father, Tywin Lannister. On the way to Harrenhal she meets and saves Jaqen H’ghar, an Faceless Man who seves the Many-Faced God.
To return the debt, he offers to kill three people of her choosing. When they escape Harrenhal, Jaqen offers to take her to Braavos, but she’s still deadset on killing everyone on her list.
They part ways but he gives her an iron coin that will her allow her to obtain passage to Braavos if she changes her mind. All she has to do is find any Bravosi and say the magic words: Valar morghulis.
Watch: Arya and Jaqen parts ways
It’s a High Valyrian phrases that translates to “all men must die.” Bonus bit of info: if someone says valar morghulis, you follow it up with valar dohaeris (all men must serve.)
The night is dark and full of terrors (Storm’s End)
All manner of weirdness goes down at Storm’s End, the castle where Renly Baratheon and his young Queen Margaery call home. But remember that bad blood between Renly and Stannis?
Stannis believes heart and soul that he is the rightful ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, after Robert’s death. But Renly wants the throne to. Enter the red Priestess Melisandre.
Melisandre and Stannis gets down and dirty and she gives birth to a demonic shadow baby thing. Said shadow being ends up killing Renly Baratheon. Hey, we ever said any of this easy to follow.
Watch: Demon shadow baby kills Renley
After Renly’s death, Brienne pledges her allegiance to Lady Catelyn Stark and vows to get her daughters – Sansa and Arya, still believed to be at King’s Landing – safely back home.
At Kings’s Landing
If you thought all that was messed up, it’s free for all at King’s Landing. Joffrey is King and a terrible one at that. Cruel, too. He torments poor Sansa to no end.
Watch: Tyrion saves Sansa from Joffrey
There’s uprisings all over the city because the people are starving and hate their king. Petyr Baelish offers to smuggle Sansa back to Winterful but we know how things ended for Ned Stark when he trusted Petyr.
Tyrion is trying to redeem himself as the Hand of the King and later as Master of Coin, but even after his bravery at Battle of the Blackwater Bay, his stripped of his privileges without so much as a thank you.
Stannis attempts to invade King’s Landing by sea, but his forces are defeated in a naval battle. I’m just saying, without Tyrion, we wouldn’t have the pretty wildfire fireworks scene.
Watch: Wildfire at the Battle of Blackwater Bay
In the North
Theon Greyjoy at Winterful
Theon went from a happy-go-lucky dude in the first season, to the power-hungry albeit foolish ‘conquerer of Winterfell.’
So desperate to prove to his fahter that he is still a Greyjoy, Theon ransacks Winterfell, kills the Maester Luwin, and has everyone believe he burned the Stark boys, Bran and Rickon, to a crisp.
Watch: Theon Greyjoy attacks Winterfell
Robb Stark, the ‘King in the North’
Making name for himself as a unconquerable warrior and the King in the North, Robb wins one battle after the next, even taking Jaime Lannister prisoner.
However, soon after Catelyn reunites with Robb, she conspires with Brienne to free Jaime and return him to King’s Landing in exchange for Sansa and Arya. Robb is not so happy about that, to say the least.
Watch: Robb Stark, the King in the North
The Wall, the Wildlings, and Ygritte
At the Wall, Jon Snow uncovers evidence of infant sacrifices. Realizing that the White Walkers are not just a myth, he defects from the Night’s Watch to join the Wildlings.
We meet Ygritte, the Wilding who stole his heart and coined the phrase, “you know nothing, Jon Snow.”
Watch: Jon Snow knows nothing (NSFW)
The season ends when Bran, Rickon, Hodor and Osha returning in time to say goodbye to Maester Luwin before he dies. The head out to the Wall, leaving Winterfell in ashes behind them.
Jon meets Mance, the Wildling King, and his friend Sam is stuck in a blizzard on the wrong side of the wall. He witnesses the White Walkers and the army of the Dead slowly making their way South. Ice zombies!